


You're The Best Thing That's Ever Happened to Me, Lupin

by Georginagold27



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Bullying, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sirius Black, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Pining, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Sirius Black Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:15:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29103900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Georginagold27/pseuds/Georginagold27
Summary: Remus Lupin has been through a lot, and the days are hard, but Sirius notices he's tired, and can't help himself.I suck at summaries, sorry. : )
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 59





	You're The Best Thing That's Ever Happened to Me, Lupin

**Author's Note:**

> TW for implied self-harm, internalized homophobia, bullying, and some shoddy description of pain.  
> Maybe don't read if you're struggling with things like accepting yourself or dealing with bullying, read what you can handle! : )

Remus had been having a hard day, and at that moment, was just trying to get through his fourth essay of the day. He’d been bullied, the sounds of their voices ringing in his ears and making his cuts that were placed in a careful row on his thighs burn.

_ “Loopy lupin!” _

_ “You’re disgusting.” _

_ “Freak!” _

_ “I hope you die.” _

_ “He probably can’t afford a new uniform…” _

And the worst one,

_ “Potter and Black just pity him, there’s no way people like them would ever actually like someone like… him.”  _

And ‘him’ was said with such absolute disgust, it sent Remus into a crying spree for an hour, until he calmed down, still in pain, because the full moon was four days ago, and relentless. He had spent three days in the hospital wing until he finally got to leave. Sirius had stayed with him for most of it, and Madam Pomphrey had long since stopped trying to keep him out. He would sit by Remus, read to him, and even fall asleep next to him in some instances.

Now, he had a splay of papers, books, and an inkpot and quill balancing carefully on his knee while he sat on his bed. He was struggling not to fall asleep, blinking harshly, snapping awake when his head would slowly fall. His body was tired, and sitting in a criss-cross position with his back slumped was not the most comfortable thing. Sirius was also in the otherwise empty dorm, and he noticed how exhausted his 'friend', for Sirius had always meant more than that to Remus, was, as well as how hard a time he’d been having lately. 

Of course, Sirius just so happened to notice everything about Remus, or at least he thought so. The thing is, Sirius wishes for more. He wishes for Valentine's day dates and goodnight kisses. He wanted Remus as his and only his, and he had since their second year when he learned about his ‘furry little problem’. But he knew, without a doubt, that if Remus ever found out, he’d hate him. It’d ruin the friendship and the Marauders with it, and Sirius would be left alone to his own devices. Despite that, Sirius felt a part of him saying _ ‘just once, just take one chance, and at least you’ll have that.’  _ And it was tempting because maybe one kiss could last him a lifetime, but who knew?

Interrupting his thoughts was the sound of Remus cursing as he did a cleaning spell to remove the freshly spilled ink out of the bed covers. It had tipped over when he jerked his head up again, so this time he put it on his desk, but only looked down and continued to attempt writing. 

Sirius walked over to him, and stood by Remus’ side, taking the book out of his lap. And then he took his chance.

“H-hey!” He said, but the words fell out of his mouth messily due to the shock of Sirius putting his hand through Remus’ hair and pulling his face into his stomach, but so gently that he really only did what Remus let him.

“You’ve been doing this for hours…” Sirius started softly, “It’s about time you get to bed, alright?” Remus didn’t reply, but made a small noise, sounding of agreement and comfort, and he moved to bury his face further without turning away.

Remus was…  _ okay  _ with this happening. He could easily force Sirius off or stop him if he wanted, what with his super-human werewolf strength, but he hadn’t even tried. Sirius smiled at the thought, and lent a small kiss atop Remus’ head, because  _ this  _ was that chance, and he’d be damned if he didn’t milk it. 

Remus’s stomach flip-flopped.

Butterflies.

All that Remus knew was that he could be here forever, never move, and he’d be totally happy. Sirius’ fingers splayed out through his hair, his thumb the side of his head. His stomach, abs really, was firm and comforting, and Remus didn’t know how nice it felt to be this close to someone. All the girls he’d ever met were soft, but Sirius was all muscle and strength, and he was so gentle but could be so strong if he wanted. 

“C’mon.” And Sirius, after what felt like ages, and no time at all at the same time, had pulled away.

Remus leaned towards him as he pulled away as if utterly yearning for his hands back in his hair and body next to him. However, Sirius just kept going, and he turned to the mess on Remus’ bed. He moved the papers and books, cleaning it up while Remus sat and watched, and when he finished he looked back to his werewolf friend with a soft smile and kind eyes.

Remus realized he hadn’t seen Sirius this happy looking in quite a bit. Sure, he would still laugh and joke, but he never smiled like that until now. Not even at James.

“What’re you doing?” The taller one of the two, Remus, said, though at the moment his words even slurred from his pure exhaustion. He kept watching Sirius as he unbuttoned his oxford, turning Remus to putty, and took off his shoes.

“Getting ready for bed, which you should also be doing.” But Remus only kept staring. Sirius finished putting up his shirt, and Remus stopped when he changed out of his jeans into pajama bottoms.

“Scoot over.” He heard Sirius whisper to him. Remus hadn’t laid down yet, just sat there like an idiot, but then the covers were being pulled off of him and over another body too.

Sirius wrapped protective arms around his... friend (‘ _ what is even happening?’  _ Remus asked himself.) He cuddled up next to Remus, and he stiffened until Sirius began speaking sweetly in his ear.

“Mm, you, Remus, are too strong, and too, too good for this world. You’re adorable.” 

Oftentimes, when the Marauders, mostly Sirius, said this, that Remus was adorable, they meant it to tease him and he’d get all red from embarrassment. However, the way Sirius’ voice carried itself, forming like a bubble around the two boys, holding them together as if they were alone in the world, made it seem like he wasn’t just teasing. The strong arms that hadn’t moved away yet almost served to prove that theory. Almost. But, before Remus could even think too much on it, Sirius’ breathing evened out, calming his every thought, and only a moment after, Remus joined him in the blissful black void of sleep. 

-

When morning came, Remus woke to find two fascinating things. One, for the first time in literal years, Remus slept peacefully, not only without a nightmare but without a dream too. And two, Sirius’ lovely pale arms and body remained snuggled up to Remus’ back and waist. The whole thing was magical, but Remus could hardly stop himself from wondering, again,  _ why _ ? He figured Sirius was intoxicated and had given into his want to help because Remus always pushed himself, though last night was nothing new, after focussing for a moment, he concluded that that couldn’t be it, since he’d smelt no firewhiskey or other addictive substances. Not even traces of the cigarettes in which Sirius found himself smoking often.

Remus tried to stop himself from thinking again, especially from his previous thought… maybe I have a chance… but no, that wasn’t possible. Not only was Sirius straight, but there was no way he’d ever love a monster, Remus decided. With that slightly troubling thought, he began trying to figure how to get up without waking his friend, only to start shaking at the feeling of the boy he’s loved since he was 12 holding him as he was. Remus could hardly keep from- No, he couldn’t keep from crying anymore. He let out a small sob, letting tears fall silently down his cheek as he wondered why he had to be so broken as to love his best friend like this, let alone a boy. He tried to fathom why the gods just had it out for him entirely, but before he could even try to answer that, those slightly more familiar hands squeezed tighter to Remus, and a whispering croaky voice came from behind him.

“Remus? Rem? What’s going on? What time is it?” He asked, voice filled with worry. Remus hadn’t even thought about that. What time was it? Did they miss breakfast? Why hadn’t he heard Prongs shuffling around yet, since he almost always wakes up before Remus, and Peter too for that matter?

He looked to the alarm clock on his bedside table, and it said clearly  _ 4:30 am _ in bold red numbers. Remus’ eyes widened. He forgot that sometimes after a particularly difficult day, he would wake up in the middle of the night. He’d thought it was morning until now, after his amazing sleep.

Sirius shuffled a bit now, sitting up so that he still held Remus but could see the clock. Something about the way they were positioned felt intimate, almost entirely too much so, but too perfect to move away from.

“Hey, what’s going on? Rem, what’s wro-” But Remus dropped his face into his hands, so Sirius stopped himself and pulled them away, so he could look at Remus.

“I-I’m sorry.” He muttered, but it was barely above a whisper and almost inaudible. His eyes stung.

“What? Whatever for?”

“F-for waking… waking you up.” He answered, but Sirius just looked at him like he was the most precious thing in the world and told him;

“Love-” Remus’ brain exploded, or at least he thought so. “I couldn’t care less, okay? I will always be happy to wake up if you need me. I promise.” He spoke, his voice was low and raspy, his tired voice which Remus couldn’t get enough of, but the words he said were better than anything else, and Remus smiled.

No one ever acted towards Remus so kindly as Sirius, but he had yet to figure out why. What would this perfect, gorgeous, amazing boy want from Remus? Homework answers? Pranking aid?

He let some more tears spill, and Sirius’ frown deepened. He reached a tender hand up to the taller boy’s face and thumbed off a tear.

“It’s okay. You’re safe. I’m here, okay? I’ve got you, I’ve always got you. You’ll be okay.” He. Every word he said had more and more care and concern per one. Remus felt it all to his core, to the bones that still shook out of fear, wondering; what if he knows and he’s just toying with me? What if he just wants to get my hopes up and-

The panic must have shown on his face because Sirius interrupted his thoughts.

“Rem, Rem please tell me what’s going on. Let me help you. Please, Moons.” He tried, one arm resting resolutely around Remus’ waist and the other now placed by his jaw with the ends of his fingers in Remus’ hair. His eyes and facial expression looked about the softest he’d ever seen of Sirius, save for the few bad moons he helped Remus get through.

“No-No I can’t. I c-can’t”

“Please, let me help you. At least tell me how I can do that. I’ll do anything.” He said, now seeming distressed, both were tired and in definite need of more sleep, but Remus knew he couldn’t and Sirius had silently vowed not to for as long as Remus was awake.

“J-just... stay? Promise you’ll never leave, I need…” But he already said too much, bit off more than he could chew, per se. Sirius gave him a warm smile, and leaned his forehead so it was pressed against Remus’.

“I’ll never, ever, ever leave you, love. It’s alright. It’s okay. I’m here and I’ll never leave, no matter what.” Not true, not if you knew, if only you knew, then you’d hate me forever, he thought. Remus’ mind went down a quick rabbit hole landing him in his darkest fears, where Sirius finds out just how wrong he truly is, and leaves him, hates him for eternity,

“C-could I s-say something?”

“Anything, of course, Rem.”

“I- I um… well, Sirius I maybe, I think-” He paused, and began panicking a bit, struggling to breathe. I can’t do this! He thought bitterly.

“Hey, shh, tell me when you can. Take a deep breath. In… out… In… out. Just like that, yeah, you’re doing good, love.” He smiled again, and fireworks lit in Remus' heart at the endearment, because _ why is he still calling him that? _

“Thanks.” He took a breath, and braced himself, attempting courage. “S-Siri...” He started, gaining another worried look from Sirius “I-I’m scared… I don’t… I don’t want to lose you… This-This is too much. I don’t know how to take it… It’s-” He stopped, choking on a sob, shaking almost violently. “It’s too hard…” his voice shook.

“Shhh, hey, you, Remus, you will never, ever lose me? Got it?” Remus gave a small nod, that would be completely unnoticeable had Sirius not been searching for it.

Sirius, despite what some people liked to think, knew all too well how Remus was feeling, and he could practically smell the pure fear so he knew that all he could do was hold on tight, and never let go because Remus couldn’t talk right now, and he needed Sirius.

Remus still shook, but less than before, because now Sirius had him, and he promised he wouldn’t leave. So… maybe he meant it? Maybe if Remus told him- But he stopped that thought too, because what’s the use of getting his hopes up? 

His tears still fell and didn’t stop for another fifteen minutes, but finally, he sniffled one last time, and he’d stopped shaking, so he nuzzled his face in Sirius’ chest, just to feel it for the last time because he highly doubted anything like what had just happened would ever happen again.

“Are you okay to go back to sleep?” Sirius asked, and Remus felt his voice through his veins. It sounded like smooth jazz in a library, but then he remembered he had to answer, even though he wished he could just stay there, awake, until he died.

“Yes.” He lied, but Sirius seemed to believe him enough, and he squeezed his arms around Remus. Once more;

Butterflies.

Remus was never one for that fluttery feeling he’d get around Sirius, no, he hated it half the time, but this, it felt so nice, and he reveled in the feeling. 

He then remembered, again, that Sirius was in bed with him, and Remus was slightly mortified. He suddenly wondered,  _ do I share the sheets, do I kick, or snore? Am I a nuisance? _ And he wondered if Sirius hated sleeping with him like that.

Sirius pulled away, and he started to pull them both back under the covers, but Remus put his hand on his wrist, stopping him.

“You can go back to your bed now if you want.” He spoke, guiltily. Sirius shook his head and smiled again. Remus had to remind himself to breathe.

“Well, I don’t.” And he continued cuddling up to the werewolf.

Remus blushed. Butterflies, again. Damnit!

They moved and shimmied until they lay comfortably, wrapping their arms around one another. Their legs were tangled and Remus’ head lay on Sirius’ chest, listening to his steady heartbeat and even breathing. Once more, Remus felt himself slipping away into the abyss, hoping for another dreamless sleep, but a soft voice cut through his thoughts again.

“You are beautiful and strong, and so, so perfect. Best person I ever met, you are…” his words slow and soft, groggy through exhaustion. “I wanna stay like this forever, never let go of you. You’re my favorite Moony. I love you. Goodnight.”

And Remus fell asleep as if Sirius' words pulled him to do so, as if they were completely normal to him. It was like magic, but then again, no spells have, or could have, caused this bliss. 

-

This time, Remus woke to something different, something he was in no way expecting.

Sirius's mouth was by his ear, entirely too close, and his warm breath sent chills right down Remus’ spine as if waking up with Sirius Black in his bed didn’t already do that.

“Rem, breakfast in 30. Gonna get dressed.” And he slid his body out of Moony’s grasp. He resisted the urge to beg him to come back and make him stay, but he couldn’t help but feel empty, or like a piece of him he’d been aching for was suddenly gone. It was like the things he’d wanted so badly had decided to give a sample, and now he’d never get more.  _ Free samples are the worst _ , Remus thought.

He watched as Sirius gathered his clothes for the day, and was alarmed when he looked at the clock and saw it was 10. But… breakfast at 10:30 means it’s the weekend. It was already Saturday?

“Oh!” He shouted, and Sirius stopped in his tracks, worried.

“Moons?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I- I just didn’t realize it was already Saturday. I thought yesterday was Thursday. Oh shit! That means I have to check all my assignm-“

“No! No, none of that. I’m getting dressed, we’ll get breakfast, and you’re coming with me after, got it?”

“But Sirius I-“

“No buts!” And then, realizing what he said, he winked (because come on, it’s still Sirius Black, after all!). “Well, maybe a few.” said with a cheeky smirk. Remus blushed. Again.

“Fine, just go!”

And Sirius did, and Remus changed too, quickly in case Siri finished before him. As much as he loved his friend, and knew he loved him too (maybe?), Remus hated his scars, and he’d rather die before letting his gorgeous best friend see them, anyone for that matter. This, of course, made the whole “teenage boy hormones” things difficult, since he’d forbidden himself from sex of any sort.

Oh well.

Sirius marched back in, grinning. He sported black jeans with rips up to his thighs, loose and well-worn things that were Remus’ favorite. He just couldn’t help but love the way they fit him, how they showed his thighs, and he thought that they fit pretty well upfront… and in the back. His shirt was the Led Zeppelin one Remus had gotten him as a replacement to the old one that he accidentally ruined while practicing a sticking spell. Long story. 

Sirius also had his black doc martens, which he treasured dearly.

His hair was in a loose know atop his head, his wand holding it up, with strings of hair hanging out at the front, and his stormy grey eyes scanned Remus, looking at his typical Saturday outfit, and smiled.

“Nice hair, bed head. Let’s go!” He said, ruffling Remus’ curls, causing Remus to give an annoyed groan, which he really did to mask the floaty feeling that came back when Sirius touched his hair. 

So the two boys left the dorms, and Remus started thinking once more, this time a more troubling thought. He remembered, for the umpteenth time that morning, that Sirius told him he loved him, and if that were true he probably meant it as a friend, but Remus pretended as though the forehead kisses didn't say otherwise. 

After that, breakfast went normal, and surprisingly, Sirius didn’t act much different, except for giving Remus extra attention and being fiercely protective, but that second part was more usual if anything. Remus had been distracted the entire time, though, as he was caught up in what Sirius had said the night before. "I love you…” said like it was nothing, but to him, it was everything. What did he mean? Either way, Sirius acted indifferently, so Remus pretended to forget, too.

Finally, the Marauders walked as a group back to their dorms, and James had to go to practice, while Peter went off to study with his Hufflepuff study group.

“Rems, Remy, I promised you a day out, so shall we go? I have something I would love to show you, he smiled. Remus sat on the edge of his bed, not really doing much, watching Pete and James leave, and then Sirius sat by him and wrapped a tender arm around his friend.

Not around his shoulders. 

Sirius was very touchy-feely at times, but he’d always keep it well enough platonic seeming, but a ginger hand came to hold Remus’ waist and his body leaned into the contact. Remus melted as soon as he did so.

Butterflies. A-fucking-gain.

“U-Uhm sure, where are we going?”

“Trophy room passageway. I figured we could hang there for a bit if you’re up for it. He smiled warmly, and got up, reaching out for Remus’ hand to help him up too. However, when he received the hand in question, before anything, he pulled it to his face, whispered “my love” so quietly that Remus could only barely hear with his heightened senses, and kissed the knuckles softly, sending a wave of shivers through the werewolf…

And then they left, both considerably more flustered than before. 

The walk was silent, but comfortable, despite their previous interaction.

They’d nearly made it when a group of students passed them in the hall. Remus looked down, hoping they hadn’t noticed him, with no such luck.

“Hey! It’s Loopy! What’s he doing here? He should know better after last time!” One shouted, laughing and cracking his knuckles. They were a group of Ravenclaws, who, unlike their house, didn’t believe in balance or justice, didn’t care much for wisdom, just wit. Somehow they liked learning, and that’s why they were sorted there, but if Remus hadn’t known better he would’ve said they’re Slytherins. 

Sirius looked at him, incredulous, and looked outraged.

“Dumbarse, that’s why he’s here!” Another reprimanded. “It’s Black! He’ll kill you for that!”

Sirius looked at Remus, who had his eyes cast down, and Sirius felt hot, terrifyingly scorching hot rage tear through him, a force to be reckoned with.

“What. The hell. Does LAST TIME mean?!” He nearly screamed, disregarding Remus muttering “Sirius… don’t. Please.” 

He turned around to see the bullies, who consisted of Adam Longmire, Samuel Johnson, Harrison Nomily, and Jennifer Ferah.

“Nothing! He was kidding!” Jennifer said, scrambling for a lick or belief, which never came.

“What the fuck did you do?” He commanded, gaining a dark look in his eyes. Remus put a hand on his upper arm and tried to tell him to back off, but he shook it off and said;

“What did they do to you?” this time towards Remus. He was angry, but the words came out in a distressed tone, hoping Remus would tell him it was nothing and they meant they just teased him, but knowing he wouldn’t.

“They- Not here, okay? I’ll tell you, but not here, not in front of them.” He shot his own glare in their direction.

“Fine. Fine, we’ll go, but if I EVER see your faces again, if you EVER touch him again, I’ll rip your limbs off one by one.”

Remus nodded, and the four in front of them ran off, glad they weren’t dead.

“Sirius… I-” His hand dropped to his side, and his body dropped to the floor, as he cried, letting tears fall.

Sirius dropped with him, holding Remus close as he sobbed.

“Shh, no hey, I’ve got you…”

“I’m-I’m s-sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have told you… It hurts. They-They hurt me so m-much…”

“It’s okay... I know, Remus, I have you, you’re okay…” He told him.

“Thank you… I love you too…” He sobbed, gasping for a breath, and let Sirius shush him and tell him he’d be okay, but not believing it.

“C’mon, love, let’s go to the passageway, okay? It’s okay.” He said, and stood up, pulling Remus up by his hand. Remus’s body felt limp, and he nearly fell, but Sirius caught him. He pulled him up and did something unexpected to the both of them. He pulled Remus up so that his legs were around his waist and arms around his neck, and he yelped. Sirius’ hands were under his thighs, holding him up, and Remus put his head down next to Sirius’.

“What-”

“Relax, you have a hard time standing, let alone walking, I’ve got you.” 

And so, Sirius carried him to the passageway, and Remus, who had stopped crying but still felt less than okay, got butterflies with every step that he took, feeling Sirius’ hands and trying to pretend he didn’t.

He set Remus down on the couch once they got there and muttered a locking spell on the door in case the others came to look for them. 

He pulled Remus on his lap, so that his head on was his chest, and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Love, tell me what they did. I can protect you now if you just tell me how.” He promised.

“I- they… they- my books, they destroy them, sometimes they'll curse me, test out which ones hurt most, but none hurt as bad as…” He paused, “Those people weren’t the only ones, there are more who do it…”

“None hurt as bad as what?” Sirius asked.

“The- The curse. It’s noth-nothing.”

“No, what curse, Remus?” He asked again, needing an answer, having guesses for what it’d be.

“Sometimes the-the seventh years’ll do it, Slytherins… they… they use the-the cru-cruciatus-curse.”

No… No, no fucking way. How dare, how DARE they?

Remus broke out into tears once more at the horrified look he was given.

“It’s-it’s okay, n-not nearly as bad as… my-my transformations. They… I don’t blame them. They-They don’t know what they d-did.”

Not as bad… NOT AS BAD? Yet… he doesn’t blame them?!

Sirius tried to stop the flow of tears that crashed into him, to no avail. 

The Marauders all knew about Sirius’ home life. They all were well aware that he was hurt, often, and they all knew his mother had a particular liking to the unforgivables, especially ‘crucio’. He’d felt the terror, like his skin was being pulled off layer by layer, his bones flipping inside out, and pain so unbearable that he couldn’t scream anymore. But Remus Lupin, the amazing being he is, just said it’s not nearly as bad something he goes through three times once a month? Three days in a row of full moon nights every month was worse than the cruciatus? And he said he was okay?

“You- You… No… Remus no... I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, I had no idea…”

No response came, just a closer hold on him, comforting him, which Sirius realized was silly because he should be comforting Remus.

The boys, broken as they were, had been through a lot together. Becoming illegal animagi for Remus, Sirius being disowned, the werewolf’s moons, but this felt different somehow, because now, they held on strong and fast, not letting go of one another, begging not to be let go of.

The tears didn’t stop for another hour, but then sleep came, as they still held on for dear life. They woke up after a 'bit', only to find they’d be in there for four hours.

“Remus?” Sirius asked, practically delirious.

“I’m here.” He squeezed his hand in reassurance.

They rolled up and looked at each other.

“What time is it?” He asked since Remus had his watch on at the moment.

“Like… four-fifteen.” He said.

“Oh.”

And for another thirty minutes, they sat in silence, just reveling in each other, and Sirius started to think. Remus told him he loves him, and maybe… maybe this meant… maybe he could have him, as his own, and they could be more…

Sirius pondered this and almost decided not to give it a shot. But…

He needed it.

Sirius needed Remus. He needed to love him, feel him, and be with him. He didn’t know if Remus needed him too, but he had to try, had to do whatever he could, because this boy, this strong, kind, loving boy, the one who folded his socks and organized books, who thinks unforgivables can be forgiven, but not when they’re used on anyone else. 

Each time Sirius woke up or went to bed, Remus was his first and last thought. His eyes, lips, hair, hands, the way he flipped a page or swooped his y’s. 

Sirius had to. He would never stop thinking about him, and if he didn’t take this opportunity, even if it might hurt, he’d never forgive himself. Now or never.

“Remus… I need to tell you something.” He said.

“Oh? What is it?”

“I- not here. Follow me.” He said, getting up, and Remus nodded and followed as told.

Sirius led him out of the passageway, and to the dorms, only to grab the cloak, and they continued to their destination. They walked until they’d made it to the courtyard, where Remus finally stopped, giving in to his wonder and curiosity.

“Sirius, wait. Where are we going? It’s late, and if we go any further, we’ll not make it back until after curfew.”

“I know, just trust me. I promise, it’s not too far, but this is important.”

“Okay, fine. Then lead the way.”

And so he did, until they were out at a clearing by the edge of the forest, just before the ‘forbidden and deadly’ parts began. Sirius sat down, and Remus did too, right next to him. They both gazed up, where the sun reflected pinks and oranges across the sky in a beautiful pattern.

"So, what’s up?”

Sirius let out a shaky, nervous breath.

“Remus, have you… have you ever been in love?” He asked.

Remus looked at him and took in the scene. Sirius’ legs were splayed out in front of him in those perfect jeans, and he leaned against his hands behind him. The golden sunlight lit his pale face, and he smiled at Remus. He looked… Hopeful.

“I have… yes. Why?”

“It’s… it hurts, you know? Like-Like in a good way. To love someone so much that they’re all you think about.” Remus tried to understand what he was saying. Sirius was in love. Remus never had a chance, to begin with. He tried to fight the feeling of disappointment in his gut and pushed it down violently.

“Yeah… yeah, I know. I do.” He replied, pretending it didn’t make him queasy.

“Right. Well, um, I- I’m in love, Remus, and this person, they mean more to me than anything, and I- I wanted to tell you who it is.”

“Oh?” He said, noticing Sirius’ avoidance of pronouns. 

“Yeah… Well, um, this is really hard, so I’ll do something else. I guess… Okay, you wanna know why I love them?”

“Um, sure…”

“B-because, well… He’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. He’s kind and strong and cares so much about me, and Remus, I just can’t live without him, because… Well, you mean everything to me.” He looked at Remus meaningfully, whose mouth dropped open. “I think about you first when I wake up and last before I sleep, and I smell you in my Amortentia. It’s-it’s you, Remus. It’s you and it’s always been you, and I love you and I want you to be mine. I want to be yours. I love-I love you so much it hurts and-”

Remus didn’t let him continue, putting a hand over his mouth.

“Shut up and kiss me. Now.” He said, struggling to breathe

He pulled his hand away and looked at Sirius, whose mouth flew agape, and he was a shade of red Remus didn’t know was possible.

He leaned in, and Remus did too, until they shared air, and were centimeters away from touching.

“You really want to do this?”

“I do.”

Save that for the wedding, Lupin, Sirius thought with a smirk.

He closed the gap and met Remus’ lips. They were soft and full, willing, and Sirius realized, Remus was easy. Not to come onto, but to love, in general. He was easy to kiss, and to wrap his hands around, and to feel.

He did just that, and they explored each other, not fully, but enough to know that this couldn’t end- not yet.

Sirius felt Remus softly bite his bottom lip, causing an embarrassing moan, and he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, and they kissed with vigor and passion, and it was rough from all the years of waiting but good.

Remus’s mind was working a mile a minute, and he was trying to do this right. Sirius, as expected, was an amazing kisser, or at least he thought so since he’d never kissed anyone before. Based on how Sirius was responding and that noise he’d just made, however, he figured he was doing it right. It felt right, maybe a bit confusing at first, but they found a comfortable rhythm and went with it, and now he had Sirius and Sirius had him, and he was gonna be okay.

The kiss lasted pretty long, longer than Remus thought they mostly did until he realized they were snogging at this point, not just kissing, and Remus remembered he hadn’t even told him how he felt. He pulled back and looked at Sirius.

“Sirius…” He began breathlessly. “I- I need to tell you, too then. If we’re doing confessions.”

Sirius nodded, smiling wide.

“I’ve been head and over heels in love with you since first year, and I’ve literally dreamt of this moment, so I want to be yours too, and I want to be yours until I die, whether that be tomorrow or in forty years, so please, please have me, will you? Will you be my boyfriend?” 

“I thought you’d never ask. Remus, one hundred percent, yes. Never in a million years would I say no. I love you, I love you, I love you.” He answered. It was like now that he could tell Remus how he felt in truth, without being afraid, he never wanted to stop doing it.

“Sirius Bloody Black, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

Sirius smiled, and kissed him again, this time softly, needily, because it was Remus, and Remus was perfect, and he’d already said this but he didn’t care. And he was in love. He pulled back and smiled, again. 

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Lupin.”

_ You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, _

_ You’re the best to happen to me... _

_ Oh, the happy times _

_ When times were hard _

_ But somehow I always made it _

_ I made it through _

_ ‘Cause for every moment that I spent hurting _

_ There was a moment that I spent _

_ Just loving you. _

__

_ -Best Thing That’s Ever Happened To Me, Gladys Knight & The Pips _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! It's my first time posting a fic here (or anywhere for that matter), so I hope you enjoyed! Also, sorry for any mistakes.
> 
> Also, feel free to comment any suggestions for changes/things I can do to better this and my writing.


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